Homesick

I didn't think it would hit me as soon as it has….

Maybe it's because I'm one of the youngest interns. Maybe it's because I'm used to saying goodnight to my family every night. Maybe it's because my dogs are absolutely adorable. Maybe it's because I left the most amazing friends in the world. Maybe I'm just overly emotional. I really feel like no one here is homesick like I am. Not that they aren't experiencing homesickness, but it doesn't seem to consume them. Doesn’t physically knot their stomachs. Maybe it just hasn't hit them as hard yet....or if it has they are REALLY good at hiding it. Way better than I am. It comes in waves. I can force myself to forget it for a while, but the moment I let my guard down it floods in. I have to keep myself busy so that I don't have even a minute to think about it. I have to be careful about what I occupy myself with though. Not everything works. I can’t read a book about the bond of sisters because I will fall into hysterics, or listen to certain songs because the remind me of my mom or dad. What’s funny though is that I still love it here. I still want to be here. I still know that this is EXACTLY where the Lord has planned for me to be. I guess this is just part of the package. You have to make it through the storm before you can see the rainbow, right? I don’t want to give up or only serve God when it’s convenient and comfortable. I want to serve the Lord when it’s hard, when it hurts, and when I really would rather be somewhere else. He promises in Lamentations 3:22-24 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Despite the fact that my family is halfway around the world and everything in me longs for the comfort of America I will put my trust in Him. I will cling to the heart of a God that won’t let go. That will never leave me or forsake me. He is good and His love is great.  This too shall pass, but until it does I need prayer. Lots of it.